Super Bowl XLII ad review

Well, the Pats disappointed, but not nearly as bad as the ad world. Does Hollywood's writers' strike somehow affect Madison Avenue? Seriously, I've seen better overall creativity in those local ads on cable - you know, the family tire store ad where the barely literate daughter of the owner is reading a line about quality and service, and then gives a toothy grin and thumbs up? We've all seen it.

If you want a truly professional ad review, read Bob Garfield's on Adage.com - he's the best. It's raw, opinionated, and fairly jaded by his years in the business. I'll put the link below (and link to the ads themselves), but first, try and stomach my amateurish thoughts.

Let's start with the perennial overblown contributor: Bud Light. While not particularly original, the fire breather was funny, and the neanderthal-tire spot was okay too. I don't understand why they drop in the 2-second final scene after the logo/tagline - the scene is generally worse than the main ad and leaves me with a bitter beer taste. Best laugh: Will Ferrell as Jackie Moon. How long will his modified Ron Burgundy voice and personality keep us laughing? It still works for me.

Nice to see that CocaCola can still make warm fuzzy ads. Who'd-a-thunk Charlie Brown would star in this year's ads? I enjoyed trying to verbalize Stewie the balloon's thoughts as he fought for the Coke with Underdog; "Blast it all, you mangy mutt!" The political-pundit ad was lost on me, but why do I find two guys on Segways so amusing? (Aside): Yesterday, at SLC airport, we saw two cops rolling around on Segways near the baggage claim. Their machines had custom side-mounted storage bins and "POLICE" stickers all over them. Ooh - menacing. My guess is they filed a boredom complaint (it's the SLC airport) and were given the scooting podiums for amusement. Bonus! It's the citizens who are most amused! I compare this phenomenon to the fat twins on mopeds from the Guinness Book. Remember?

Dell, which has done some memorable ads, had a major flop. It was embarrassing actually - they're partnered with the (PRODUCT)RED campaign which supports the fight against AIDS in Africa, and the best they can do is a guy being worshipped for carrying his Dell laptop around town? Huh? Also, the Bridgestone ads with people/animals/Richard Simmons getting in the way were idiotic.

The ad that created the most visceral response for me was the Godfather-inspired Audi R8 ad. The cut from the front-end-in-the-bed scene to the firing engine and futuristic headlights of the new R8 was exhilarating. That car looks awesome. Bonus props for using the phrase "put on notice".

Enough with GoDaddy's sex sells pitches. Yes they're direct, but we get it already. I'm disappointed that Danica Patrick goes along with this stuff - I thought she'd stick closer to her sport. Instead, she's going the way of Kournikova.

Best line: Cars.com's "Plan B" spot with the stone circle death match: "You should definitely step outside the circle..."

Babies are cute, we know. Somehow, E*Trade still got it right with their baby videos. It makes the point well (ease of use), makes us laugh, and capitalizes on the recent trend of YouTube baby clips being emailed around by your aunt. Also, acknowledging clown creepiness never hurts.

The FedEx carrier pigeons were a good sight gag and that's about it. "Here's a great new (absurd) idea! No? Okay maybe not." Sort of the same concept as the Bud Light fire breather / flying ads. Bob Garfield calls it "the 'what if/never mind' comedy genre", which sums it up best.

Memo to Doritos: At $2.7 Million per :30 spot, you might want to re-think putting half your spend on a girl with a guitar named Kina Grannis. Good luck measuring that ROI. I'm sure she'll really stand out from the other refreshing, folksy, granola-eating ladies cramming that genre. And notice what they eat: granola, not Doritos chips.

On to the other beverage behemoth, Pepsi. I hate admitting it, but the Justin Timberlake spot was one of the better all-around ads of the show, complete with a clever gimmick, interactive website, call to action for free MP3s, and an Andy Samberg cameo to boot. "Multimedeoric" if you will. I should coin that term, whatever that means. Diet Pepsi Max must be doing some effective advertising in general, because I knew that would be the product featured in the head nodding/bobbing ad before we actually saw it. In this case, however, the "celebrity" appearances - Chris Kattan the only exception - were cheap and unnecessary.

One of, if not the best ad was the "Silence the Stain" spot from Tide. The sheer annoyance you felt watching and listening means it was effective. Watch it again, and tell me the stain's blabbering is not reminiscent of Steve Carell's anchorman character toward the end of this Bruce Almighty clip.

All of the vitamin/life/flavored water ads are generally weird. Once you accept that, you can enjoy the Thriller-dance lizards for SoBe Life Water. Come on, we all wish we could do that entire dance in our living rooms, and although we often try, we can never get the shimmy-shimmy / feet together / clap overhead part right. I'm talking about other people, not me. But this ad begs one question: Does Naomi Campbell really matter anymore? Really? Nao- forget it.

And finally (we hope), the culmination (we hope) of the Charles Barkley + Dwyane Wade "Fave 5" ads gave me some chuckles. Two points: He really spells it "Dwyane", that is not a misprint. And "Chuckles" is a nickname often used for Charles Barkley, so... The best moment of the ad was seeing Chuckles in front of the double-wide refrigerator. For those hip to the sports scene, Mr. Barkley is generally regarded as not slim. And Mr. Wade should keep his day job, which is flopping all over the ground drawing cheap whistles, while scoring lots of meaningless points for the worst team in the NBA.

The rest of the ads were either too idiotic to mention (SalesGenie.com), or I did not see them (___). For a professional and well researched take on the ads, see Bob Garfield's column here. If you missed any or all of the ads, be thankful, but feel free to watch them here.