The cereal bracket final pitted the winner of the sugar bracket, Frosted Flakes, against the winner of the healthy bracket, Cheerios/Honey Nut Cheerios. My first question is, "what-what-what?!" How does the selection committee combine Cheerios and its Honey Nut sibling as one entrant? That's akin to saying Coke Zero (my new favorite soda) and Cherry Coke are the same beverage. I call shenanigans!
The winner of the bracket, of course, was Frosted Flakes, right? After all, they're grrrrrrunbelievably sugary delights. WRONG. It was the Big G's own tiny life preservers, Cheerios/Honey Nut. This is baloney, unless thousands of voters were daycare center snack managers. Even with the clear unfair advantage the Os have with 2 distinct products, there is no way participants on an ESPN radio show-hosted bracket (dudes who still eat cereal for breakfast when they come upstairs from their mom's basement) would choose them over Tony the Tiger's candy-masked-as-cereal crack flakes.
This can only be explained by one thing: General Mills, a Minnesota based company, funded the whole operation in order to crush Kellogg's, a Michigan based company, to further soften the state's economy. You see, Minnesota is running a guerrilla campaign to overtake Michigan as the "Most Popular Upper-Midwest 'M' State Filled with Lakes". They've even proposed a Grand Rapids-off, pitting the two towns against each other in a seven round winner-take-all prestige match. Grand Rapids, MI's upper hand: Once the "home office" of David Letterman's Top Ten List. Grand Rapids, MN's key claim: Slightly less cold than Pluto. The loser has to change their name to "Schmand Schmapids", so that's a consolation you can live with. Go GRMI!
Last night, I took a 3rd stab at fixing my ineffective dryer and did what I should've done the 1st time - take the back off and unscrew some stuff. (DUH!) Previous attempts involved: Inspecting, re-aligning, and cleaning the duct work; and reaching really really way far down into the lint trap housing with a vacuum hose. But with some idiot-proof instructions from Yahoo! Answers, I realized the entire problem was the blower wheel majiggy, and once I got the cover off (with TheWife's assistance) we found a dense mash of our former rug squatting in the wheel house. Pulled that out, sucked up other debris around the vents, and we were back in business! And to think, I was going to call another handyman...
Speaking of, we're only about 50% done on our bathroom, thanks to all the new fun things we have to do! Who knew that one failed water valve could lead to so many interesting and charming choices: What type of tub do we want? Do we want to tile or surround? What are you going to do with that gap in your floor (what gap?)? New linoleum or tile so your floor doesn't look so lame? What kind of toilet do you want since we (handy persons) accidentally smashed the base with a sledge hammer? What color are you repainting the walls? How did you get your nose hair completely white? Answer: I was using meditative breathing while chopping through drywall and tile. Was quite easy, actually. That white color gives it sort of a distinguished look.
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3 comments:
Cheerios? Bah! My wife might like that choice, but it only won because of all the media saturation. "Lowers cholesterol" my ass! I tried injecting it directly into my heart and it didn't do squat.
Quisp and Fruit Brute are in my finals. Their veteran leadership was the key to their success so far.
Quisp is a funny reference. I think the radio host who pulled this together was talking about it, and while I recognized the name, I had no clue what it might look like. I just looked up the "where to buy" on Quaker's website, and nobody's selling it within 50 miles of me. Send me a box!
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