Fake instruments

So we bought Rock Band for PS2. I became fairly adept at the fake guitar while unemployed, playing Guitar Hero until my left hand fingers cramped into a permaclaw. But oh, the joy of FAKE DRUMMING. If you know me at all, you know I'm a rock 'n roll drummer at heart - my dream of thrilling arenas full of people with ear shattering fills and big finishes unfulfilled only because my Mother never bought me that drum set that I had on my Christmas list for like 15 years. (I love you, Mom, it's not really all your fault.)

Rock Band comes in a bundle with wireless guitar, 4-head drum kit with bass drum pedal and Ludwig drum sticks, and a microphone for the singer. The guitar is a bit heftier than our Guitar Hero axes with a softer feel - I like it much better. The drums are 4 rubber heads, sort of like the drum pads that you practice with if you take percussion in junior high. The plastic kick pedal is weighted well, but it feels like it will break if you kick too hard. The day Annie bought it, I was playing drums on the Medium level within 4 minutes of getting home from work.

[Flashback: end of 6th grade, band tryout day. An array of instruments in the library includes various brass and reed instruments on tables. No xylophones or snare drums to be found, but I'll check out some of the horns. I try out several, settle on the trombone. Unknowingly, I am now committed to trombone in the band. Later, I found out the kids who did get into percussion, like my friend Travis, simply told the teachers "I want to be in percussion", and were granted said wish. Fastforward 3 years, I am a freshman in high school, 1st Chair trombone ahead of 2 seniors, and in no way did that make me a huge geek. I quit at the end of the year and joined the choir. And in no way did that make me...]

My point is, if I had been a more assertive youngster, my future may have involved much longer hair and way more bus trips and ruinous addictions. As it stands, I can accept my 3 year stint with the slide T-bone - we did have a sweet marching program freshman year - music from the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.

Anyhoo, we now have a fake family band. Preston is really good at the drums, which makes me insanely happy but privately bitter, and Zoey loves to sing into the mike, but only to Bon Jovi's Wanted Dead or Alive. She struggles reading the scrolling words on the screen, but she knows just enough to keep the game alive. Heh - get it? Annie is a dual threat on mike or guitar, doesn't really care for the drums it seems, and me, well - I of course can rock them all. Oh, I forgot - I won a Yamaha keyboard at a work luncheon raffle, so we have a fake piano, too!

The song selection in Rock Band totally sucks, but that doesn't really matter. Playing fake drums and fake guitar and doing karaoke through the TV is pretty much the coolest fake thing ever. I'll drop in some pics of us jamming soon. If you're lucky enough to come to our house (Is anyone ever going to visit me in SLC?) we can give you a demo. Maybe I should call it a "session".

Thanks to my parents for reminding me of one of the best and funniest reads of the year: Dave Barry's Year in Review. Here's a snippet:
"In other show-business news, the surprise contestant on American Idol is llama-hairstyled Sanjaya Malakar, who, with the support of millions of viewers, all apparently deaf, manages to reach the late rounds of the competition before being eliminated by a blowgun dart from Simon Cowell. Upon being revived, Sanjaya is signed by the Miami Dolphins."

He also has some hilarious coverage of the political races. Check it out.